N is for NEW YORK YANKEES!  The boys of summer are back baby!  The Yankees are a big part of my family and my marriage. We are a Yankee Family, that's for sure.
When we got married, we went to Vermont for our honeymoon. Friends and family gave us a wonderful suite at a lovely B&B. It was in October.  Before we confirmed the reservation we had to confirm that the Inn had cable TV…it was the play offs and we couldn’t miss that!  May not sound romantic to you but to us it was to us.  When we returned from our honeymoon, my brother greeted us with tickets to see the Yankees play in the World Series…that was quite a thrill.
I am actually not a huge baseball fan. I would never watch a game that didn’t involve the Yankees. I actually don’t mind missing some games early in the season…but when August comes, I get seriously involved. Because I am such a Yankee fan, there are some games I have a hard time watching. For example, I have a hard time watching the Boston/New York series. I always get too anxious. And forget the play offs…I am a wreck! I watch between my fingers as I hold my hands to my eyes.
I love the Yankees but don’t share that feeling with the team’s owners. I never cared for father Steinbrenner; it really angered me that he built the new stadium and limited the number of cheap seats. The new stadium is ok, but I think the Yankees would have been better served by renovating the old Cathedral that was Yankee Stadium.  But there are so many more reasons to love the Yankees…because well,  they are the Yankees for crying-out-loud.

I am a very different kind of fan then my husband. He yells at the players when they make an error. And don’t get him started on Girardi (the manager)…he gets so angry at some of the decisions he makes. Even when I think they deserve it, I wouldn’t yell at the players. Somehow I think that is not being a good fan. Now the funny thing is that my husband only gets angry at two situations: Yankee mistakes and stupid drivers, especially drivers driving slow in the left hand lane. I on-the-other-hand can yell at the drop of a hat. I do have a temper…it rises in a flash but then goes away just as quickly…must be an Italian thing.
Sports fan are pretty good at showing anger…throwing down their caps, screaming at umps who can’t hear them, and of course cursing, lots of cursing. My guess is that with those bursts of anger most sports fans release the emotion and move on to the next play.  But are sports worth getting angry at? If not, what is?
 Anger is a natural human emotion. It serves a purpose when handled well, but how many of us handle anger well?  Not handled well anger can fester and turns into bitterness and hatred. It grows exponentially and takes over; it then takes less and less to trigger our anger.  Anger is a dangerous emotion, one that I dance with too closely. Saying it’s just an Italian thing is a poor excuse. I need to learn to let go of my anger and, more importantly, not got too angry to begin with…I need to remember the words from James:
This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God. James 1:19-20,Well this is a short post because the Yankees are on and they have lost their first few games of the season…but I am not angry!

M is for Mend

M is for Mend…I am on the Mend! Last week I was felled by a wicked stomach virus. I was truly knocked out. Is there anything worse than stomach stuff? Well of course, but seems like not when you are in the throes of such an illness.  My poor husband got it the week before while I was out of town. The illness is why I skipped the letter L in this meme series and hopped onto M.  We think the culprit was one of our peanut sized grand-nieces who came over one evening and promptly informed us that the night before she “spitted up a lot!” Thanks for sharing Dani!

For as miserable as I felt ( I am not a good sickie, just ask my husband), the feeling of joy was even greater at the moment when I realized I had turned the corner, when I reached that point in time when I realized that I was in fact  on-the-mend! With a little help from a prescription my wretched stomach had calmed itself enough to begin the process of mending. I couldn’t have been happier though tired, wiped out even, but indeed grateful that the worst was now behind me.  I was on the mend to being made whole again.

We spend a lot of time as human beings on-the-mend, though I am not sure we realize it. We spend much of our time healing from the small and not small tears in the fabric of our well-being. Those scrapes and bruises that come from daily contact with other human beings.  We bristle at the coworker’s indifference, get irate at being cut off on the highway, frustrated by the young person’s teenage eye rolls, or whatever happens to get under our skin. For the most part we are able to release these things and not even realize that our bodies processed pain, released it, then, even on a cellular level, began to repair the damage that the stress has caused. We are in a state of constant mending.

Marriage is filled with times of being on the mend. Not major events of some consequence but rather moments filled with simple opportunities to mend. We tick each other off only to realize that  we were wrong, by our action, inaction, or reaction, then apologize and begin the mending process. A simple heartfelt apology sets in motion momentous mending.  Most often it’s something so inconsequential that it doesn’t even warrant a discussion but the mending process is no less real. 

Marriage isn’t a series of negotiations but rather an ongoing recognition of the need to mend. It’s the recognition that both partners are fragile, easily torn but that with each tear, the person and the marriage become stronger by the opportunity to strengthen the binding. Of course some of the tears are deep, but fortunately rarely so permanent that love’s binding qualities can’t repair. I am not saying the repairs are always instantaneous; the tear may stay torn for awhile. No doubt about, we are not perfect, just people on-the-mend.

This Palm Sunday (actually every Palm Sunday) the Passion was read. At the moment of Christ’s death we learn that the curtain in the temple is torn in two, from top to bottom. This is the curtain which separated the Holiest section of the temple from the rest of the sanctuary. Prior to this only the High Priest was allowed to enter this area and he only once a year.   The tear of course symbolizes the end of the old ways of keeping the people from accessing God. Christ’s death opens a pathway to the Father. HE IS the pathway. Although it is symbolized as a tear, Christ’s death and resurrection actually heals, binds, mends.  His resurrection sets in motion the process by which we continually seek healing from our often self inflicted tears because we are people always on the mend. Fortunately, we believe in the great tailor who is capable of mending whatever shredded garments we bring His way. 

K is for Keepsake

A Keepsake is a memento, something you can give or something received that reminds you of a special event.  It can be a souvenir, though I think of keepsakes as something sweeter, something that trigger’s wonderful memories and a souvenir as something you buy at Pedro’s when driving to Florida for spring break. Those kind of keepsakes have become an industry.  Folks are always hawking coins, cups, and other “collectables” on TV. Did you get your memorial dish of the royal wedding?  But are those things really worth keeping? Even the term “collectable” is relatively new…when did we start an obsession with collecting these so called collectables?


Keepsakes are not new. People, it seems, have always had keepsakes of one sort or another. My most favorite keepsakes are those that are associated with the people I love more than places or events.  Some of my favorite keepsakes are: a few of the menu’s from the SS France, a cruise I took with my parents when I was still in elementary school; crewel pillowcases I purchased in Afghanistan, a trip I took with my eldest step-son; the bouquet from my wedding; and ticket stubs from some amazing rock concerts from the ‘70s that I attended with the woman who is still my best friend! I also wear my grandmother’s wedding band (next to my own) as well as her engagement ring. These are real treasures to me. They represent not only the love of my Gram but also my love for my husband.   I have some of my mother’s wedding crystal; I love those etched wine glasses.  Much of my mother’s good jewelry was stolen though I do have her diamond wedding band. I wish we still had her charm bracelet. My Dad had the charms made up with his badge number and house numbers when he was a member of New York’s bravest…NYFD!  I do have one of the charms that somehow evaded the thief.  I plan on turning it into a ring. That will be a great keepsake.
Two Christmases ago I gave my husband a collage of photos of the kids. They were all photos taken at photo booths from many trips to the Jersey Shore and Lake George over the years as all as a set taken at a photo booth at a recent family wedding. Lots of memories in those photos. A great keepsake.
Do we always keep things that are worth keeping? My mother recently downsized and moved to a very small apartment.  I was with her as she went through some her things and determined what she needed to give up. That was a difficult process.  She would no longer have a large dining room so she had to get rid of the dining room set. That table was the center of our house. So many holiday and family dinners were shared at that table. Hours and Hours of love were shared around that table. I think that was the hardest thing she had to give up; not the actually table but actually having the space to host those family gatherings.  One of my brothers now has her dining room set and we continue to share family dinners at that table. Christmas is now at my house but she still does the cooking! My mother has been living in her new place for several years now and I don’t think she ever gives a second thought to all the things she had to give up to make that move.  She was able to let go and make the transition.

It seems we all keep a lot of stuff that we could let go of. This is especially true of those intangibles…stuff like bad memories, grudges, heartbreak; we tend to hoard that stuff like they were gold coins. Letting go of that stuff is a lot harder than giving away the family china.  Wouldn’t it be cool if we could have a yard sale for that stuff? One table filled with childhood pains; another devoted to friendships that went south.  Grievances….that would probably take a few tables. Since it’s my yard sale, I would add a table with pet-peeves…now those are things we keep that really serve no purpose.  What would you put on your tables? Some expectations might be worth putting up for sale. 
Who would come to such a sale you may ask? Well, God. He is an eager buyer just waiting for these sales. He combs the papers everyday searching for those of us ready to have yard-sales-for-soul.  These sales are not easy; it takes work and commitment to give up our sense of indignation at old hurts. 

But it’s what we are called to do: to forgive, to give God those burdens, to clean out those collections that destroy our souls and keep us in the cycle of old pain. 

It may be time for all of us to downsize, myself especially included; to review our “collections” and determine what we have that really are keepsakes and what we keep that simply is krap.

J is for JAVA

J is for Java, the joyous juice of the coffee bean! Oh how I love java. I love the way it tastes, it smells, and even the sound it makes when it fills my cup. I love the way if feels when I wrap my hands around a warm mug. Coffee is more than a drink--- it’s a social encounter for those willing to take to the plunge!

I love strong coffee, but I am not a purest, I do take it with milk (no sugar). It has to be whole milk though; I won’t drink it if the only thing available is skim milk, turns the coffee a yucky shade of grey. I will, however, drink coffee black if it has a bit Sambuca in it!  

I don’t believe people should add flavors to coffee (other than some liqueurs) …if you don’t like the way coffee tastes, drink something else.

Yes, I am probably addicted to it which I guess is not a good thing but there are far worse addictions that’s for sure. I know that too much java can certainly make you jittery and I have been known to jump a bit when I over indulge. I can understand why the Mormon church bans it (somewhat understand it) but am grateful that when encouraged to ban it in the 1600s, the Pope refused saying it was a gift from God…and indeed it is! The Muslims tried to ban it at one time but the people revolted.

I always start my day with a cup of that black gold. My fellow “memer” Jean Wise writes about Journaling for her “J” essay. I sometimes do write in the morning and couldn’t imagine doing it without my cup of coffee. I use the same cup, its solid blue, large and chipped; it’s a relic from my wedding shower.

There is something wonderful about sitting on the deck, either alone or with friends, and drinking coffee. Joining friends for java is always a good time. The talk seems to flow all that much easier when it’s over a shared pot-of-joe. My parents would spend hours drinking coffee after dinner and talking. They made their coffee in a pot they put on the stove and boiled. My mom still makes a great cup of coffee though she uses an electric percolator these days.  I can no longer drink coffee in the afternoon but do enjoy a decaf after dinner and will make an exception to my no-caffeine-in-the-evening rule if it’s for an Irish coffee (hmmm St Patrick’s day is coming..). 

Before Starbucks, 7-11 used to be a hot spot for good java. Dunkin Donuts is still popular though no longer a personal favorite. McDonald’s had the worst coffee though I hear they have improved it greatly (haven’t eaten in one in more years than I can count). I must admit that I have become a fan of Starbucks but prefer locally owned shops whenever I have the options. My local bagel shop makes a good cup. While I usually love coffee out, I can't drink it if its in a styrofome cup.

Coffee is something I always seek out when in other countries. I Loved stopping in the café’s for cappuccino in Italy. The strong coffee in Turkey was a real treat.  But of course some of the best coffee I have ever had was in Africa. Good coffee was plentiful in Kenya and Zambia but my favorite coffee comes from Uganda (probably because I love Uganda!).  The Nile River starts in Jinja, Uganda and there are two java shops there that are fantastic: Flavours Café and the Source Café…Flavours caters to the tourist and the Source is more of a dive but both are fun and, of course, have some great coffee.  Even the tea in Africa is good! Former British colonies still serve afternoon tea. I have had coffee from Ethiopia but have never been to that country, at least not yet.  Good coffee was also had in Honduras and in the Dominican Republic.

My husband is not a coffee drinker, he pretty much sticks to water. He sometimes gets up early and goes to daily mass (I usually sleep in). Despite the fact that he doesn’t even like the smell of coffee, he has been known to bring me home a cup after mass. When we were in Germany we had to leave the hotel at 4:30 am to catch the flight home.  When I dragged my sleepy self into the nearly empty lobby, there, waiting for me was a large cup of java to go…my husband arranged for it the night before!

I am sure I will raise the hackles of coffee purists when I admit that I now use the coffee pods but I have found some great pods: Emeril has a strong pod (Big Easy Bold) and another company has pods called black silk and oh, it really is!

This is a short post and certainly not the most creative of my efforts but Java is what came to mind when I started to write my J entry…so Java it is, or joe or jamoke or simply joy…

I is for Intuition

I is for Intuition

Intuition will tell the thinking mind where to look next.- Jonas Salk

I have a feeling about this…a mother’s intuition…a hunch…

We have all heard the phrases and more importantly experienced those moments of clarity when you simply knew what to do in a particular situation. You didn’t need to give it much thought, the answer came from within:  Intuition. Intuition comes from the Latin word “intueri” which means to see within. Although I think it is more about listening than seeing within. Intuition is listening to that place within ourselves where God dwells. It is listening to the soul 

In the fall of 2010 Harvard researchers published the findings from a study indicating that people with a more intuitive thinking style tend to believe in God more deeply than those with a more reflective thinking style. A reflective style of thinking is weighing the pros and cons, looking at all the options carefully, or approaching decisions from a purely logical frame of reference. Intuitive thinking is an approach to decisions or assessments where one trusts one’s gut or intuition; where one looks internally for the answers more so than weighing facts. The study didn’t indicate which came first --intuitive thinking or deep faith-- only that those who tend to trust their intuition have greater faith than those who did not generally rely on intuitive thought. Both intuition and faith have been described as knowledge without reason. Faith is often unreasonable. Faith is an intuitive belief in a power greater then ourselves, a Divine Power. Faith is its own kind of cognition.   It makes sense then that those with a deep faith would be less inclined to solely use reasoning as a means of processing information.

For me, intuition and faith are inseparable, integral components of the Holy. I believe faith feeds our intuition.  Both are manifest in that small voice that speaks continually even though we, or at least I, do not always trust it or can even hear it. Learning to listen to our intuition and trusting it, it seems to me, would lead to greater faith. And the greater our faith the more likely we trust that inner voice. But that small voice too often gets drowned out by all the noise in our head. It gets pushed aside by logic that says that doesn’t make sense, it hasn’t been thought out enough. Grace is the courage to listen to the voice no matter what the mind thinks.

A Mystic is anyone who seeks a deeper relationship with God though most are known for their extraordinary experiences and expressions of faith. I would say that Mystics are experts at tuning into their intuition.  Through their faith and disciplined practices, Mystics readily connect with God within themselves.  Not seeking God out-there-somewhere but the God within. Intuition in this sense is that place where the mind listens to the voice of God dwelling within; its listening to the soul.  No one would call mystics logical and many did call them crazy.

Unfortunately, it isn’t an easy thing to tap into our intuition, at least not for me. It requires quiet and time, it especially requires pray erthat quiets the mind. Without practice it is easy to confuse intuition with an initial reaction to something.  I am guessing that most of us have had a first, gut reaction to something or someone that, upon further reflection, was proved wrong.  First thoughts are too easily tainted by prejudice or misinformation. One clue that what you hear is God speaking through your intuition  and not an initial reaction is that intuition will evoke a sense of peace whereas an initial thought may be disquieting or push us to ask even more questions. I think it is also easy to confuse intuition with the ego. The ego will also prompt us to act but its voice usually isn't so small and rarely quiet. 

"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift." - Albert Einstein,

Einstein points out that the logical mind should serve the intuitive mind. The quote indicate that both are important but indicates that one should serve the other…logic should serve the higher mind…intuition. St Thomas Aquinas argued that faith and reason must coexist. Thus, we find evidence of God in nature. For those of us with faith we see God in all creation: creation becomes evidence of God.  God doesn’t ask us not to think, he doesn’t want us leave our brain at the church door. He gave us that brain so expects us to use it. But our ability to be reflective must serve a higher purpose. We are thinking beings but our thinking, even for the best of brains, is limited. God isn’t limited and intuition channels God for those willing to undergo the discipline to learn to listen.

H is for Hours

H is for Hours

Especially hours spent reading which is something I do often. I read for several hours every day. Fiction, non-fiction, prayer books and daily readers. To say that I read is an understatement. It may be that I spend too many hours reading…is that possible? I would say no but in our harried, hectic world I am somewhat of an anomaly giving so many hours each day to reading.  The average for people under 65 is less than 30 minutes a day spent reading.  I do not have children living at home so I don’t have to drive them anywhere, correct homework or cook dinner for the hungry mob. I do freelance work and I work from home so no time spent on a commute.  My days are not hectic but somehow the hours do fly.

Sadly, a recent study by the National Endowment for the Arts indicated that Americans are reading less than 10 years ago…I wouldn’t have guessed that.

The hours I spend reading make me a better writer, even, in my opinion a better person. But should I spend fewer hours reading and more hours…doing…what?   Books are often the building blocks of relationships…they are certainly are good start to a conversation and what’s a conversation but a good start to a relationship

“Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

I have quite a few nieces and nephews and a growing group of grand nieces and nephews and my favorite gifts for them are books. Fortunately most of these young family members are avid readers. I spend more than a few hours reading books for young people.  It is definitely time well spent as I have learned that books deemed appropriate for young people aren’t. Or at least not for very young people.  And some books for young people are truly wonderful.

“A children's story that can only be enjoyed by children is not a good children's story in the slightest.”
― C.S. Lewis

And I do spend time reading the Bible, studying it and learning from it…

“Ignorance of the Scriptures is ignorance of Christ.”

-St Jerome

So which of these hours should I give up? None I should say. These are happy hours, heartfelt hours, hours that are spent honorably.