Reaction,
Realization, Response and Redemption
As I was getting myself ready for this most recent trip to
Haiti I blundered into some huge mistakes, on my part and on someone else’s,
but in the end that latter really wasn’t what mattered. I am working for a new organization and I
don’t have relationships with the folks I would be meeting with /working with
throughout my trip. I began to exchange emails with the primary person I would
be dealing with once I arrived in Haiti. I was going to work with her on behalf
my organization…we will call her H and my organization Morg. H is Haitian though lived some of her life in
the States; she is well educated and a leader of an organization in Haiti. And at
first she seemed somewhat eager to meet with me. I was going to help her develop partnerships
with other NGOs (nongovernmental organizations) as well as with the US
government in Haiti.
So in typical American fashion I began my relationship with
an email. Then followed up with another email that included a list of info I
needed for my trip along with a bunch of requests for info or actions that I
needed H to do. And in typical Haitian
fashion I didn’t hear back for several days…and again in typical American
fashion I shot back another email asking if she got the first email and where
was she on my list (more or less) and in typical Haitian fashion she responded a
few days later indicating that she was working on things…then she went radio silence for another week.
In addition to partner development I was going down to see
firsthand the program and gather some info to bring back to the new director of
the Morg. The organization I am working
with helps fund H’s work which is a nursing school. I had traveled to Haiti before and over the
past seven years have traveled to other developing countries as well. In most of my travels my colleagues or
contacts “in-country” always made
most if not all of my in-country arrangements: places to sleep, transport
to/from airport, transport around the country, set up meetings, etc. So
naturally I assumed this would be the case this time as well, naturally.
I continued to send H emails with the list of “my needs” for the trip and again assumed
she was on board. And again days would
past before I would receive any response; whatever response I did get was never
complete. H would pick one or at most two questions for a response. As an American I am used to getting email
responses back with hours if not minutes and having each email respond to
completely; even if all items couldn’t be answered, most American responders
would note that they were working everything and often indicate when things
would be complete.
Two nights before I was to leave I began to feel like
something was wrong…I hadn’t heard back about most of my questions including
questions about my “accommodations.”…Hello H, can you PLEASE (yes in caps)
respond to this email, with Please respond as the subject line…lovely.
Was I getting picked up at the airport and where was I staying? I received very short response from H the guest house picks you up from the
airport…Uh, what guest house?…Hello
H, WHAT GUEST HOUSE? DID YOU MAKE MY
ACCOMODATIONS???? Well maybe
not both bold and underlined but definitely capitalized.
A very short response…I
didn’t make your reservations…ahhhh.
And, if you are not guessing already, this is where things really fell
apart.
I checked with other colleagues in the States…did they think
she was supposed to make my guest house reservation? Yes they did. What is with this chick…I am
coming down TO HELP HER for crying out loud!
Why wasn’t she immensely grateful and the least she could have done was
make my guest house reservations. Great
attitude uh? .
A couple more emails…from me…PLEASE make the reservations,
from her…here is the info to do so, not
my job (more or less). From me to my boss…can you believe this chick, why
isn’t she doing her job…another email from me about the reservations and well,
lets just say her response wasn’t pretty pretty…no not pretty at all.
(Insert here the sound of a car hitting the brakes)….ok, we
need to take a pulse here, what is really going on. The following morning I got
a call from H’s boss, an American who helped me understand some of my cultural
transgressions. She was extremely gracious and apologetic. Some poor
communication and culture issues clashed to create a real mess. She helped me
step out the issues.
First of all, my goal of “helping” H was never really explained
to her…all she knew was that I worked for Morg and was coming down. As I
mentioned, H is the dean of a nursing school in Haiti and as such is extremely
busy. She is also extremely well
respected both in Haiti and in the States.
My transgression # 1: asking her, a leader, a Dean, to make arrangements
for me was extremely condescending in her opinion and especially in her
culture. It came across as an arrogant American treating her like some sort of
flunky. Ouch.
Transgression 2. Not really explaining to her my role and
some changes that Morg was pursing. H’s job has never really entailed
fundraising or partnership development. Morg is changing its expectations of
its partners which now includes an expectation that our in-country partners
increase their role with fundraising…. Transgression 3 was cultural. I know this may
sound awful but it is very Haitian to assume that Americans will take care of the
details with projects like arrangements, etc. It comes from years and years of
Americans basically telling them what to do. Americans and others have been
pouring money into Haiti and basically telling them what to do with it rather
than helping them come up with their own solutions. It’s a complicated and long history which
includes colonization, a few wars, US occupation of the island and a boat load
of oppression from a lot of sources
including the US. Transgression 4 also cultural.
H prides herself on knowing a great many people throughout Haiti, important
people. I sent her a list of
people/agencies that we needed to connect with. H didn’t know any of the people I wanted us to
meet with…that didn’t faze me. I actually assumed she didn’t know them…the idea
was to help her develop new relationships ( I knew the agencies but not the
specific in-country people). But from
her perspective I pointed out that she didn’t know some “important” people…this
shamed and angered her. My organization
helps to fund her organization and in her eyes I was pointing out her weak
areas; I embarrassed her…doesn’t matter if it makes sense to me or not. What
matters is that I insulted her big time. Oye!
If Haitians are not comfortable with a situation, especially
with Americans, they may tend to ignore the questions or simply say yes and
hope it all goes away. As time went on and I wasn’t getting info back from H
about the schedule for meetings and other arrangements I became increasingly
frustrated. So I decided to set the meetings up myself…and told her so…again
more frustration and more emails and a
lot less relationship building.
I approached this assignment in typical American fashion,
develop a list, get the list out to people who needed to do some tasks on the
list and send it all out via email and expected quick and efficient
responses. Chop Chop
Well chop chop is not not Haiti or Haitians. It’s a slower pace and a slower world. The
internet is iffy and email isn’t always available. It isn’t part of their
culture to reply immediately, sometimes days or a week can go by before you
hear back.
I needed to redeem
myself…I needed to stop reacting and
begin to realize what was really going on. It was critical that I recall my own redemption and what that meant for my life. I apologized, I packed
some chocolates as a peace offering, I turned off the New York speed and tried
to slow things down. And most importantly I altered the purposed of my trip…I
become the learner, the follower. There will be other times when I can set the
pace (hopefully) but not this first time.
I am writing this in the airport on my Haiti. We’ll see how it goes. Be fluid, that is the phrase I was told would
make any trip to Haiti easier…
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